It's been more than a hot minute since I posted, and you know, everyone posts a trillion different things on a bunch of different sites. Seriously. I have like 5 twitter accounts, 6 different Tumblrs, 8 different pages on Facebook, 3 different Instagrams. And here I was, about to start another blog on another site, just to keep my professional and private life separate. But no! I won't do it. Transparency. Simplicity......the endless cycle of 15 different gmail accounts stops now. I will attempt, starting tonight, to daily post the photo I take, and recap my day. I realize my life is kinda crazy awesome when I let it be :) Also, FULL DISCLOSURE. This post is all over the place. Prepare.
This is partially inspired by several different sources.
Last night, for the third time in three days, I watched the documentary, Miss Representation. Seriously, if you haven't watched it, please, go to Netflix right now, and watch it. Especially if you are female. Do yourself this favor, and let the fire light under your butt.
This made me realize how true it is. Women are other women's worst critics. We SHOULD support each other, but for whatever reason, we take everything as a competition. This has to stop. We need to BE BETTER. Come on ladies, let's stand up and be each other's support systems. We have to change this society and the way media represents us. And my part, in this whole monster, is to create depth in my female protagonists. Build up the Kingdom. Not tear it down.
Anywho, that was segment one. Segment two, was watching yet another movie twice in two days. This film is called, Upstream Color. BEAUTIFUL cinematography. BEAUTIFUL edits. Symbolism so interwoven. It's beautiful. Add this to your Netflix.
Yes, so, if you don't like abstract "Artsy" movies, just don't watch it. You won't appreciate it. Promise. Watch some mindless reality tv show. Nothing against mindless reality shows, but sometimes, you gotta push yourself to see beauty in the abstract. You must, push yourself outside of your comfort zone.
Which brings me to my next tangent. I read this incredible article today called, " 50 Ways Happier, Healthier, and More Successful Live On Their Own Terms." Take twenty minutes, and read past the parts that make you feel uncomfortable, because you know you need to apply it to your own life. Of course, its a lot to integrate all at the same time. But pick at least two things on this list, and apply them. For me, it's saying no to things and people. I live with this huge elephant on my back. Her name is Guilt. She talks to me at least 45 times a day. I did something? I feel guilty. I spend time with someone? I feel guilty for not spending time with someone else. I ate food? I feel guilty it wasn't the healthiest it could have been - (note : today was because I drank a smoothie with blended avocados, kale, spinach, blueberries and bananas past 10:45pm, after barely eating anything all day). I've been raised to feel bad about anything and everything. Naturally, this carries over to when people ask me to hang out, make another short, help them with something....etc. I know I'm spreading myself too thin. But, I just FEEL bad. And that has to stop! It stops when you recognize while its important to be there for others, you can't keep pouring out your everything to others, and never stop to rest and refuel yourself. This over inundation leads to our copious mental breakdowns. Demand respect. Take back control of your life. Start by standing up for yourself and your time. It's precious. Spend it living a life that makes you feel fulfilled and ecstatic to exist in this crazy world. Spend it being as happy as you can, while continuing to strive towards being the best person you can be. Love yourself first, Boo! Then, and only then, you can pour out that love to others.
Another thing on this note that I need to add to that list, is, stop saying you will do all these things you don't want to do, but you say just to appease others. If you don't wanna hang out with that person from high school you barely talked to in high school, but you stalk the heck outta them on Facebook and Instagram because you think they lead a way cooler life than you, but you run into them at Target DON'T FEEL OBLIGATED TO FILL YOUR AWKWARD RUN IN ACTING LIKE YOU CARE. Be polite, yes. But don't say, " Yeah, we should totally do happy hour sometime and hang out!" You don't mean it. Stop contributing to the world of making plans you don't plan on keeping.
Okay, I'll talk about that article more at sometime. I feel like my brain is just so excited to get all this out on paper, that I am word vommiting. So, sorry. But, thank you at the same time for still reading. Almost done. Promise.
I'll just finish my life update. I leave for Cannes in less than TWO MONTHS. My golly. Making my dreams of traveling coming to life through film. I love it. I love every part of it minus the financial aspect and planning aspect. But you know what? It will be the second craziest thing I've ever done with my life. Sorry, it's gonna have to be pretty epic to beat driving across country. Film. I love it. I love it with every ounce of my being. I'm so blessed to have found my passion, to found what I love more than anything in this world. And to have the opportunity and talent to make it happen. And to have people who believe in me to help make it happen. Seriously God, THANK YOU. Not a single thing in my entire life makes me feel more fulfilled. Telling stories. Changing the world. Seeing the world. Now, let's start getting paid to do it full time!
With that, I'm trying to cut down on shorts for the moment, and focus on the feature film, " Secrets That We Keep." Hoping to make that in September, submit to SXSW and be there this time next year! Then, make the webseries, make the next movie, be at Sundance accepting Grand Jury in 2018. Oscars 2025. Yes yes, But, in all seriousness, its not about the awards. Its about the change, the change of heart, mind, thoughts, actions. It's that change and awareness I live for. I can't wait!
More personally, definetely traveling down this intense fitness and overall wellness path - Note, I ran 3 full miles this morning, before 11:30am. I feel like I live at the gym, and that I'm constantly starving, and constantly drinking either protein shakes or pre-workout. But on the flip side, I want to be the best I can be. Setting routines, keeping those routines, thats the start of the healthy mind, healthy life. I know, the fulfillment comes in the months to follow this routine. I also cannot wait to get to the maintenance phase of this!
FINALLY, I'll be trying to incorporate a photo I take every day. Today, right before work, right after my three miles of pure hel..heaven, I got to my job, and was grabbing my apron from my trunk, and I heard this giant bird land on the car next to me. And it just stared at me for two whole minutes. Weirdo. But yeah, that should have been the premonition work was gonna be especially taxing today.
Well, it's 1:50am, and since the whole incorporating a better life mantra kicks into effect on daylights savings time, Courtney is making us try to sleep now in an attempt to hit 7 hours of sleep ( also a new experiment that we shall see how effective it proves to be) before church and the gym and work tomorrow.
May you experience peace, love, and happiness in ways you could never imagine. Keep moving forward, always. Goodnight, love.